After finding my true spirituality in St Louis and learning how to listen to my intuition, I took that huge leap of faith and moved my family to a place where we could feel safe and pursue the lifestyle change that we all needed so deeply. I arrived in the village of Manes, Missouri in May 2008, when I was led, by God, to buy the little towns cafe'. I was still in an outpatient stress program and on medication that was a bit too strong for me, so I married a stranger & moved to an even stranger town in the Ozarks. Within a month of being here, I had to stop taking so much medication, because I had a business to run and I realized that I was supposed to be here and my temporary, brief "husband" was not. I wanted an annulment but settled for a divorce. So, not only was I a "city girl" in this small community, I was a "New Age" city hippie with BIG dreams & a false belief that everyone would love me here. I felt like I found a purpose sharing my progressive beliefs with others who had limited conservative perceptions of God. Among many other locals, I met My Dave. I had no idea it was him when we first met. He was unlike anyone I had been with before and I had tried the whole Dave thing for so long, with such negative outcomes, that I wasn't about to give him a chance. Until one day, I heard God's voice clearly say to me, "You can trust this man." So I did & our friendship evolved into love. In the meantime, I struggled with my own mental issues and found myself suddenly more stressed than when I was in the city. People would come to tell me what other people had said about me. People were gossiping about me... some of it based on truth and some based on peoples imaginations. Either way, being empathic, I know when I have been betrayed because I can feel your feelings. Hypervigilant is the word my psychiatrist calls it. All I know is that it is my gift from God. Empathy. I'm still waiting for God to show me why I'm here. I understand that I am living the life that I have prayed for and because of that, God needs me to be the light... But what does that mean in Manes? The community we moved into is a bit like walking into an old black and white TV program from the 1950's. I am in the Bible Belt of Missouri, with it's sweet old country gospel churches. All the sinners getting saved and becoming Gun carrying Christians. They still do the old time baptisms in the river, still sing the old gospel songs to the little old lady piano player, still saving the sinners souls from eternal damnation. There is one Catholic church about 20 miles away and it is looked over by the priest from a neighboring town. There is no perish. This is a huge difference from Florissant, Missouri where there is a fish fry & bingo on every corner, saturday night mass & church bells. I kind of miss the crazy Catholics!!
Another notable difference down here is there are no blacks in Manes, so there are no black churches. There is a serious lack of diversity in this neck of the woods. I honestly don't know if a black person would be completely safe out here, from the gun carrying Christians.
These are the same Christians that use the "N" word in this 21st Century.
I do miss Sunday afternoons at the "Old County Buffet" in North St Louis County! The black people coming from church, dressed up as only a sharp black person can dress. The women in the famcy dresses with complete ensamble of matching shoes, hats, purses & accessories and the men in their three piece suits and their shiny shoes. All of them beaming with God's Light & Love. It gave me respect for their culture and worshiping rituals.
In the city, I met and respected people of all cultures. I know Jewish people. I know Muslim people. I've worked with Asians and Hispanics, blacks and Native Americans. I have met a lot of diverse people and for that I am grateful. As a light of God, I am blessed wth the ability to see the light in each of them... Each spiritual being belonging to God. When I look at you, I see you through God's eyes. All created from the same breathe of life by the one Creator. We are all connected through God.
The hardest part of being down in the Bible Belt has been finding a spiritual community that shares my expanded beliefs. The churches down here seem to limit themselves to the Bible and a lot of emphasis on sin & the murder of Jesus and less on his teachings of love and peace.
My mother always says that the Bible is "God's Word".. Ok, if I buy that, then should I also accept that this is God's ONLY word? God is not limited to Christianity or the Bible. The Bible has been interprited & edited so many times. I do believe God comes through the Bible, but I do not believe that God is limited to the Bible. God is ALL there is. God is in EVERYTHING.
The clearer we see this Truth, the easier the next few years will be.
I do believe in prophecy. I do believe that we are in "end times" of sorts, but I also believe that we are at the dawn of a new age. Once Jesus returns (whatever that looks like) peace will be restored to the earth and some of us are here to rebuild the earth in peace and harmony.
I can feel the stirring inside of me. I see what is happening in the world and it will not go on this way. Fear & Greed are dominating humanity. Children are killing children. Violence is on every TV teaching families what families are "supposed" to be and desensitizing us to the "evils" of the world. People lie, cheat, steal and kill without even a thought for the humaity that they are harming. Pray people!! Whatever and however you connect with God, please do it and pray for the end of the world as it has become. Visualize a world of peace and harmony. In this new world where we actually live the way God wants us to. Jesus tried to teach us somethings, as well as many other peace leaders. Look at the Seven Deadly Sins. Look at the Ten Commandments. Look at the Beatitudes. Then become the person that you can be. You don't have to live your life as a human being. You are an eternal being, a spirit, first & forever and you are here to have a human experience by choice. Please connect with God, regardless of how you connect, just please connect. The world needs your LOVE & LIGHT. Namaste'.
LOVE ONE ANOTHER. BE PEACE. PRAY for PEACE.
