Where I belong...

I woke up hearing the wind and the roosters, blankets kicked all over & feeling my usual
morning restlessness. I got up & went outside. There I sat, on a wood log, for awhile, looking at the darkness of the morning and listening to the beagles playing in the field.
Thinking. Knowing. This beautiful farm is where I will spend the rest of this human experience. That's a long time for my restless spirit to comprehend.
I am almost 42. That means, if my prediction of 84 is correct, then I am actually at mid-life.
I have about 42 more years to live this life & fulfill my destiny.
I look back on these past 42 years & it seems like a long time. I have lived a lot in
those years! Now, it's time for me to take all of my experiences from the past and release them, knowing with complete confidence that, moving forward, I have the power of God and my own Creative process to do my work and finally live my dream.
I have dreamed of the farm. Even spent years searching for it.
All along it was here, in Manes, with the undisputed love of my life.
So, now that God has brought me here, what next??
I am going to learn all that I can about farming and self-sufficiency.
I remember my Grandma Sylvia in the big garden, when I was a girl, but I was
too young & wrapped up in my own life to really learn what I had the opportunity to learn.
Growing food. Preserving food. Cooking food. LOL
Now, I begin again. God has given me a chance to come home and start over, so that I might learn things that I need to know. God has brought me to My Dave and together we are a
a pair. We love God. We love nature. We love being outside. We love taking care of people.
So, how to do this while making enough money to sustain us in societies rules?
The Book. Church ladies has sat for almost a year. I have researched & taken notes this year, but I have not typed out one single sentence in the book. The time will come when I will begin writing again and I will be so ready for it.
The main thing for me is to be sure the kids are safe & loved and I am stable in my crazy head. Stable... hhhhmmmm... I don't know if I have ever really felt that.
I feel secure & safe here, but stable will take some time. The longest roommate I have had is Jewlia and we have moved a lot. She & I have moved 6 times in her 18 years. Always searching for something... Now, the search is over & I am learning stability here in Manes.
I look around this big old farmhouse and think to myself what 42 years here will be like.
What will I be like here? As long as I have my Dave beside me, life will be good here.
I believe that we will work hard and do whatever we must do to take care of the people we love and the community. I know that we will answer Gods callings and do what we must do to serve. That is our truth. We are both servants for Love and compassion. Davis supports and
lives as peace. My Dave IS a Peaceful Warrior. A true Man. An honest man. A brave man and a compassionate man. David smiles and laughs a lot. He is as real as they come and he's been here, waiting for me.
I know that our paths have been hard and lonely at times seperately. I also know that our love is the most powerful force in the Universe and that there is nothing that we can not accomplish and overcome together, right here, on the farm, in Manes.
I have finally found my place in the world, where I belong, with my new extended family, my loving partner and my wonderful kids! Now that I am home, it's time to wait for God's next
assignment and while I am waiting, I am learning and growing into the next season of my life.
I am going into the Autumn years. My hair is showing a few greys and my wrinkles are appearing. My body is no longer young and has many miles on it. I am middle aged and home with the love of my life. What a damn good place to be!

VISUALIZE WORLD PEACE.
LOVE!!!!

Blogging on the Farm

Got an early start on the farm today today.
Kids are happily doing their own thing and
so am I. I love the freedom that I am experiencing
right now. Max & I have been attached at the hip for so long
that it is an interesting part of my journey, allowing him to be independent.
Free from me & my crazy roller coaster of emotional energy. Free to find out
who Max is. It's a new & thrilling experience for both of us.
Not only is it about the kids finding out who THEY each are, seperate of
me, it's about ME finding out who I am, seperate of them.
We will never be without each other, as we are a family. We are a small
unit, me & the kids, however fluid as it becomes, growing & changing over time,
we always have each other.
The thing that is different about my relationship with my kids is that I try not
to judge them or control them. I allow them to be their own people and I respect them
and their rights to have their own thoughts, ideas & dreams. They each know that they
can tell me anything and that will not change my love for them. They have unconditional love and that goes on forever... through out lifetimes and eternity. We have made a sacred contract with each other from the other side of life. As has each of our Angels on earth.
Waking up, listening to the roosters & beagles, seeing the stars and feeling the warmth of
Dave's love brings me to a new place of "safe". Feeling safe and loved.
What a beautiful feeling. I have told the kids for years that they are safe & loved, so why has it taken me so long to even begin to concieve what that means to me?
I knew I was safe in Gods terms. I know that God protects me. period
The stress of being a single Mom & an abused wife, had shaken my personal feeling
of security. Dave has brought that to me and so much more.
Dave.. MY Dave. My only Dave.
How could I have ever known what kind of crazy path would lead me home to him?
We both had so much to go through to get to the place on our own journeys where we
could be good for each other and the world. Together, WE are the most powerful tool we have. Together, we can do anything. We did not have to create our love. Our love was created for us and given to us, as a gift and a responsibility. What My Dave & I are creating is a human relationship. THAT is where, for me, it gets tricky. I am very selective on who gets into the bubble, as my passion for peace & God is the most important thing in my consciousness. THAT MUST be honored. Not just accepted, but respected.
When I allow my mind to see this family & farm in my visions, I see only beauty & love.
I am deeply in love with David. From a different place of love that I have ever been.
It's a sincere, passionate, loving, safe, fun, easy love. It was a love that began many eons ago, in another time & place. I have no doubt that THE Dave (MY Dave) was the one who came to me in my dreams, 12 years ago. When I look into his eyes, I see it. I recognize it.
I know that our souls have danced before and in small glimpses, I almost remember our lives together prior to this one and I believe that time will reveal more lost memories of lifetimes shared. Dave is my Angel of Peace & Love. Dave is my teacher and my best friend.
God told me, with clarity to trust this man and I do. I trust him with my life and more sacredly, my heart, without effort, without doubt. I know that God brought us together, not the internet, not the big city full of people... God. What GOD has joined together shall never cease to be. Eternal. The kind of "Grow old with me, the best is yet to be" kind of love that I have dreamed about all of my life is really here, on the farm in Manes.
Thank God for the leap of faith that brought us here and Thank God for my ever growing family and Thank God for the power of Love bringing it all together, better than my dreams could ever want for. I am blessed.
Have a bright Sunshine Day!! LOVE & PEACE Prevail always!

My Full Time Job

I am in fact my own full time job. Once again, I have decided that medication to treat the symptoms of my "Rapid cycling Bi-Polar" diagnosis, is really more trouble than it's worth. So, when I saw my doctors stand in doctor, early Dec., I told her that I wasn't taking my meds anymore. She gave me a perscription for Lemictal & told me it's available to me if I want it.
Well, I don't. Not right now.
I live in my feelings ALL THE TIME. I'm not sure why that is, but it is how I am.
My BA hurts today, for no particular reason... This is not a "normal" human feeling... This, I have learned, is something odd about me.
My naval chakra is off kilter. I want to be happy & joyful about Christmas. I want to be my free spirited, loving self. I want to see the yellow & purple signs.
I am bouncing from naval chakra and third-eye chakra. Yellow & Indigo. I am trying to balance my yellow & Indigo. To some that might make sense. To others, I must just be crazy. All I know is that, right now, I am trying to figure out my space in the world.
Waking up at the farm, seeing the stars & hearing the roosters crow, wrapped up in Davids love, creating the peace farm that I have always dreamed of with the true man of my dreams, is the most wonderful thing I have experienced (besides being a Mom). I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is a God and It loves me. I know that the Universe fully supports my every dream and that all I have to do is ask God what to do next & I will be directed.
All I have to do is simply supply myself as a vessel and God does the rest.
There is still this energy of "feelings" though that keep me occupied and processing those feelings until I understand them or can move through them. Some feelings are not even mine. I am so sensitive to other energy that it takes me some time every day to decipher my feelings from others.
I know exercises that I can do to release other peoples energy and I try to make myself do them. However, it doesn't always work so easy.
So, I allow myself to feel other peoples energy so that I can process it, learn from it and then release it. The issue I am having with this is all of the energy it takes to be in other peoples bubbles.
I feel safe and free in the arms of my angel. Other than that, I am vulnerable to whomever/whatever I come into contact with.
Well, that's the ramblings of a crazy woman for today...
More later. Much Love and Sunshine through this season of joy! LOL

Church Ladies in the Mountains

At the beginning of this year, I was about 5 chapters away from "Church Ladies Dance" being finished. Then I moved to Manes, bought a café', which takes a lot of my time and energy to manage.
I was a bit sad that I didn't get the entire book written until I realized that there is a lot more to the original story than I knew.
Manes is full of Church Ladies and I have so much more to learn.

The law of attraction will continue to bring new Church Ladies and new perspectives of God and spirituality into my life. Actually, it is a manifestation of my life's work which will, in it's own time, be shared with the world via the book.

There are no religious boundaries when it comes to Church Ladies.
There are no rules except those that are set by the Universe.
Universal Law. Karma is a good example. How many times have we heard "what goes around, comes around."? That is a fact. We attract what we send out. Therefore, because I am a Spiritually motivated being, other spiritually motivated humans are attracted into my bubble to teach me different life lessons. I like to call them Angels. These angels look like human beings who are brought to me in divine order to teach me and learn from me. This means that I must follow the path of God, as ONLY God knows the true "Big Picture". It requires a lot of faith and some creative thinking.

Knowing that I attract only good into my experience and knowing that the powerful forces of the one divine mind are fully supporting me at all times, I am able to release the human (fear based) urge to control any situation or person and allow the perfect unfoldment of Divine Good with faith and gratitude. This is a fundamental belief of my being. It hasn't always been. I was once very wrapped up in the humanness of myself and lived in fear and ego. Thankfully, I saw the light thru the experiences of my spirit. Thankfully, as always, God brought me right where I needed to be and all of the key players in my daily life.

I am a 21st century Lightworker. Lightworkers are spiritually evolving humans who are here to assist other human spirits as we shift consciousness into a higher vibrational plane. The Evolution Revolution I have spoken of before.

We are in the most amazing times of human experience. The new reign of love and peace are taking over. We are, as many Christians say, in Apocalyptic times. The beauty of this is that it is a simple transformation of our energy. God does not limit itself to ONE dimension. With God there are limitless dimensions. Humans are so quick to put God in a box of rules and old evangelical folklore. God is omnipresent. This means that God is everywhere… In this dimension and all dimensions at once. God is a all-dimensional being of consciousness. This means what we can see and what we choose not to see. It doesn't matter how we see God, because God is everywhere. It allows us to choose how we see It.
Freewill.

When I was a young Baptist girl, I was taught of the second coming of Christ. I pictured in my mind, Jesus walking into Earths atmosphere thru the clouds to save mankind from our selves. Now, as a more developed spiritual being, I understand that Christ is a consciousness level. After all of the worlds events as they are unfolding, Lightworkers are the ones who will assist the Universe in healing the wounds of humanity and restoring universal peace and harmony to this planet and beyond.
One thing (of many) that Church Ladies have in common is that we are each spiritually trained Lightworkers, who are sharing the love and light of the Universe. Most of us do not fully realize the impact we have on consciousness, but all of us do know that by sharing our Christ light with others, we feel good.

Spirit is in each one of us at all times. We can not separate from Spirit as we are spirit in a limitless spectrum of matter & energy.
This means that we are one… billions of individual lights forming one big light. That one big light is the one true Christ. That is what each of us shares on a level that is beyond our limited human skills.

Moving from Florissant, Catholicville North, to Manes, Bible Belt South, I have seen huge differences in the way people view God. I have made it a point to visit these quaint little white churches out here in the country. They are each very evangelical and dwell on the death of Jesus and how he died to save us from our sins…. Bla Bla Bla Lost in translation…
The old gospel music in these churches is amazing and continues to bring me closer to the only constant in my life, God. Songs I have long since forgotten are coming back to me in waves of devoted excitement. The deep spiritual meaning of these songs and how many lives have been touched by the connection with God as we sing songs of praise and prayer.

The Church Ladies I have met here in Manes are really not much different than those of St Louis. They will never take the place of my Spiritual Soul Sisters 5 in St Louis, Darcie, Lorraine, Becky or Vannessa. That is a sisterhood of friends that magically began and will forever inspire me! What these new Church Ladies do is continue to inspire me to love God. They teach me to be loving and kind and to respect each others ways of loving & praising God.

I see Gods demonstrations for me, or my own demonstrations, as clear as ever. I'm not sure what God has around the next corner for me, but I know that I have found my home here in Manes, Missouri. I know with certainty that I am at safe at home and whatever God brings my way, I will be victorious. That is my favorite lesson of all Church Ladies, Faith.
Faith is what allows us to believe in something we can not see, yet know that we are completely taken care of in the mysterious ways of the one true Lord. That is the one truth that I both believe and know.
I live in celebration and gratitude to all of my Church Lady friends and I will continue to learn from them and even in my own ways teach them something along the way.
God is Good… ALL the time.